Lessons Learned: What Writing a Memoir Taught Me

 When I first started writing Shades of Purple: A Boy’s Journey Between the Lines, I didn’t think of myself as a writer. Writing had always felt like a chore—something I avoided when I could and endured when I couldn’t. But this book wasn’t just about putting words on a page; it was about honoring my story, reliving the moments that shaped me, and creating something that might resonate with others who feel like they don’t quite fit in. Along the way, the process of writing taught me more than I ever expected.

1. Vulnerability is Strength

The first draft of my memoir wasn’t just words—it was pieces of me, my heart, and my memories laid bare. Reliving some of the most challenging moments of my life was emotionally draining, but it also taught me that vulnerability isn’t a weakness. In fact, it’s one of the bravest things you can embrace. Sharing my story forced me to face emotions I’d buried and gave me the courage to say, This is who I am, take it or leave it.

2. Healing Isn’t Linear

Writing this book wasn’t just about reflecting on the past; it was about healing from it. What surprised me was how much healing isn’t a straight line. Some chapters brought laughter, others tears, and a few left me sitting in silence, processing everything all over again. But the act of writing gave me a sense of closure I didn’t know I needed. Healing is messy, but it’s worth the work.

3. You Never Stop Learning About Yourself

One unexpected lesson was how much I learned about myself as I wrote. Memories I hadn’t thought about in years surfaced, and I found new perspectives on old events. Seeing my life laid out in words gave me clarity. I saw patterns in my behavior, choices I didn’t fully understand before, and connections between people and events that shaped me in ways I hadn’t realized. Writing a memoir is like holding a mirror up to yourself—sometimes it’s hard to look, but it’s always illuminating.

4. Community Matters

I didn’t write this book alone. Sure, the words are mine, but the process was shaped by an incredible support system. From friends and family who encouraged me to keep going to Dr. Chapple, who provided invaluable feedback, this project reminded me of the importance of community. Writing can be isolating, but it doesn’t have to be. Leaning on others made all the difference.

5. Sharing Your Story Can Change Lives

The most profound lesson I’ve learned is that your story matters—not just to you, but to others. As I’ve shared snippets of the book and the journey to publishing, people have reached out to tell me how much they relate to certain moments or how my story gave them the courage to embrace their own. It’s humbling and deeply rewarding to know that my words might help someone else feel seen.

6. It’s Okay to Be Imperfect

When you’re writing about your own life, the temptation to paint a perfect picture is real. But life isn’t perfect, and that’s okay. I didn’t want to write a polished version of myself—I wanted to write the truth. Embracing imperfection in my story reminded me to embrace it in myself.

7. Writing Is Therapeutic

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: writing was never my thing. But as I worked through each chapter, I realized how therapeutic it could be. The act of putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) helped me process emotions, find clarity, and even discover joy in the memories that once felt painful. Writing has gone from something I dreaded to something I appreciate deeply.

Looking Ahead

Writing Shades of Purple was one of the hardest and most rewarding things I’ve ever done. It taught me to be brave, to embrace my truth, and to honor the people and experiences that made me who I am. As I continue to write and work on the sequel, I carry these lessons with me, knowing they’ve shaped not just this book but who I am as a person.

If you’re considering writing your own story, I encourage you to take the leap. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Your story matters, and the world deserves to hear it. 💜